Start Anew
by Pokiepup
Summary: A night for the gang that takes a few unexpected turns, takes place a few months after 4x13. Told from Bo's POV and written for LostGirlz


**A.N. **Written at request for LostGirlz as a belated B-Day gift, hope I included and got near what you were hoping for. :)

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_**Start Anew**_

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No rest for the wicked…

I sigh heavily as I let my eyes drift shut and pretend not to hear her voice traveling up from downstairs. I just need a little sleep-just a tiny, tiny bit.

No rest for the weary either….or the wannabe heroes….the emotional stunted….the exhausted…the broody….

I pull the pillow over my head and send out a mass message to every deity to let her believe that I'm already sound asleep-but there is my name again.

So…..basically no sleep for me—AT ALL-EVER.

I fall perfectly still contemplating holding my breath as there is an unusually long pause in the calls for me. Maybe if hold my breath long enough I'll pass out and she'll have no choice but to leave me alone to sleep.

"Hey," NOPE NOT ANSWERING. "Hey Miss. Double-Ds, you ain't fooling anyone," I REALLY THINK I AM. "Alright, I guess I'll just go downstairs and wait for Dyson-**and** Lauren on my own." BITCH.

"What's wrong?" I mumble from underneath the pillow.

"Nothing, they unlike my so-called bestie, are going to be here for me."

"Low blow," it was actually a very low blow, I'm sure she doesn't mean it as maliciously as it sounded but given my general over sensitivity to her and my lack of sleep-it hurts. "What's up Kenz?" I pull the pillow off my face and shove it behind my head as I look up at her as she just stares down at me from the bottom of the bed.

"I'm ready,"

"Ready?" my eyebrow going up.

"Yes," she sighs, arms going over her chest while there is this trace of fear written in her features. "I think—no screw that, I KNOW I am ready."

What exactly is she ready for that requires Dyson and Lauren-and me?

"You have no freakin' clue what I am talking about do you?" she barks—God I hate when she looks disappointed in me.

"No—no I remember." A smirk pulling at my lips as my sloth like mind comes up with something.

"Then what am I ready for?"

"Your first inter-species orgy," I say it so flatly that she actually looks taken back.

"You're a fucking asshole."

"Kenz, come on," I whine as I force myself to sit up. "It sounded funnier in my head."

"You don't have to come." She lets out through a clenched jaw causing a rush of guilt to course through me.

I swallow back the lump in my throat and look over at the clock 8:45 p.m. Well she wasn't talking about finally going to Hale's grave so that's off my list. We don't have a case at the moment so she isn't talking about that either. All the malls are fifteen minutes from closing so she isn't talking about that either. I'd say maybe she was finally ready to go out and pick food up but then again she didn't need a wolf and doctor protection detail for that-in addition to a succubus detail.

"Forget it Bo." Shit. I hate when she uses my name and there isn't something goofy attached to it.

"The Dal?" I blurt out stopping her just before she takes the last step from my room into the bathroom.

I wasn't exactly sure if I was right but that was the last card I had to play-problem with this question beyond my apparent mental handicap at the moment was the words '_I'm ready_' coming from her right now could mean so, so many different things.

She doesn't speak-doesn't turn around and I know I've finally got one right.

It's been three months to the day since we got her back home-she hasn't been the same.

At first we tried to force her back into her old life, booze, food and all of that-just turned her kind of violent. We tried to make her go to places she loved, her favorite roach-coach, the Dal, even tried to get her to go to Hale's apartment considering he left it to her. Same result.

Second we tried to leave her as was, in the same pair of sweats and tee shirt while she wallowed between the bed and couch-during this phase she didn't eat or drink or shower or really sleep-which moved us into stage three.

Thirdly we tried to piss her off-that got no response what so ever.

Then one day two weeks ago she randomly picked herself up off the couch and began redecorating her room-it's been loud and messy-very loud hence one of several reasons I haven't been sleeping but it's kept her busy. I think it was something Lauren told her, something about transference of grief or transfer something-I don't know, it wasn't cute geek speak so I wasn't really listening not to mention didn't think it would work but hey, it seems to have been.

Since our little home improvement project she's began resembling herself from time to time, she has put back on eight of the thirteen pounds she lost. She finally began showering again and changes clothes regularly-although this is the first time she has worn makeup.

Progress is a slow moving bitch-but at least she is finally moving again.

"Come on Kenz, cut a girl some slack." I plead as it's an actual struggle to keep my eyelids from closing.

It wasn't just her home improvements that have been preventing the sweet illusive bliss that is sleep. Between all the changes being made in the Fae world cases have been up which we've been down two and half teammates. Hale, Kenzi and Lauren gets half a credit since she has been helping as much as possible but there is only so much she can do without a lab and hiding from crazy, murderous Fae-Dark and Light alike. Then there was my own personal stress of the semi-juggling act of Dyson and Lauren-lets not go there. Then we're back at Kenzi who despite keeping me up with worry and noise occasionally wanders into my room to just sit-I stay awake hoping she'll talk—about something, about anything but no words ever come.

She isn't herself-but she is still my Kenzi so I'll wait and if this is the new her then-then we'll deal.

"Do you think it's too soon?" she asks turning back around to face me, the look of a scared and helpless child on her face.

"No," I force a gentle smile and shake my head. "I think it's about damn time babes!" I toss a pillow at her and let out a laugh-it's genuine just needs a little help being formed is all.

"I don't wanna be broken anymore." She says and all I can do is stare at her—what do you say to that? "I don't wanna be-this anymore," another pause as her features scrunch. "He wouldn't want it."

No-HE wouldn't want this for her.

"Baby steps," I smile deciding to go with the true but cliché.

"Why? Afraid I'll break if I rush?" words accompanied by a smirk but it's a challenging smirk one that is tempting me say the wrong thing-to give her that excuse to take a step back rather than forward.

"Break?" I snort a chuckle. "No, I was just stating the obvious-that's just all your tiny legs will allow."

"You have a really dry and asshole like sense of humor when you're tired." She smirks and this time it's not challenging-progress.

"Well I've never won any personality contests."

"I wonder why." She chuckles and tosses the pillow back at me before turning around and leaving me alone but not before she mumbles some smart ass comment about getting off my back-progress indeed.

I fall back onto the bed eyes shutting before my head is even on the pillow-why can't I sleep?

I run my hands over my face trying to shake off the layer of sleep—Lauren was coming-Dyson was coming—I can't have her-or him seeing me looking like death ran over then resurrected half-assed before then being ran over again by an even bigger truck.

Dyson being Dyson offered to move in '_temporarily'_ to help with Kenzi but something didn't seem quite right with that—especially since I knew if that happened then I was signing the death warrant on me and Lauren—we haven't had time to talk about US, I haven't even had time to really think about an US but I do know that I don't want to kill any chance of there to be one.

Sure we still have the same issues as before-hell we have tenfold the issues now though granted half of them aren't technically to do with an US or OUR history so much as crazy Fae bullshit but none the less they're our problems by default. Honestly I was okay with the Fae bullshit because I could deal with that. I can deal with being her hero and kicking the shit out of some asshole trying to harm her but trying to discuss about HER bailing out on US—well that I can't even think about without turning into a nervous wreck.

God-why did she have to be the one I fell in love with?

Sighing to myself I shake off the thought—actually all thoughts in general other than getting my ass out of bed and getting fixed up.

Leather pants—check. Sleeveless, extremely tight and low cut shirt—check. Minus the bra and panties—check and check. Excessive mousse to show off a new hair cut that no one has noticed—check. Heavy makeup to hide the fact that I am one sleepless night away from being a zombie—check.

Lauren's favorite body-spray OR Dyson's favorite perfume-Lauren's. Her favorite tight, uncomfortable, high riding, leather jacket OR his favorite leather jacket that wasn't as tight and twice as comfortable—hers. Lauren's favorite heeled, fashionable boots OR Dyson's favorite high heels-Lauren's.

A smirking coming across my perfectly accentuated and inviting lips while I stare at my own reflection in the bathroom mirror.

"Sorry Dys, looks like the girl is actually getting the girl tonight."

Smirk turning to a smile when my eyes focus in on the necklace around my neck—how ironic was it that I once ripped something similar off of her neck telling her no one owned her and now I wear this, secretly cherishing the unspoken fact that it demonstrates her having some kind of claim on me.

Now if only I could stop straddling the fence everything would be peachy-well that and I got some sleep.

Even better if I could stop straddling the fence, have a nice round or several with Lauren and then fall asleep in her arms-now **that** would make everything peachy.

Fuck I need sleep-sound like some perv-who am I kidding this is my brain on tame.

Giving myself one last once over before practically jogging downstairs, need to get the blood flow moving so I seem like I am actually alive. Sex, anger or heart rate increase will get me the result I need and considering I can't have sex, I am so tired NOTHING could possibly piss me off to the required point I am left with my third option and all I can think of for that is moving around excessively.

Lauren needs to let stop leaving me around her books-or at least supervise me when I read them because I am sure half the shit I've been quoting over the past six months has been wrong.

"What's that look for?" I ask immediately noticing Kenzi's amused scowl.

"Nothing-except," there it is. "I thought we were done allowing both the Doc and D-Man entrance into the succu-snatch games?"

"I wasn't aware there was ever a WE in this decision?" I chuckle, eyes catching on the two vases of a dozen roses each resting atop the fireplace, guess she is starting to notice her surroundings again-progress. "And for your info, neither have been allowed-entrance lately thank you very much."

"Mm-hm."

"Mm-hm, all you'd like it's true."

"Bo-it's me, I know Wander-Snatch hasn't gone over six months without attention."

"I didn't say I haven't had—attention." I chuckle shuffling into the kitchen—need to keep moving around.

"I should be more specific. I know you haven't gone six months without letting one of your favorite athletes get a go."

"What's with the sports references?" I look up from the fridge.

"Hockey was on earlier,"

"Right, " another snorting chuckle as I let the fridge close. "Believe what you want I—"

"So you haven't let Lauren," she laughs and looks back at the T.V.

"How do you know it's Lauren that—"

"I know D-Man and in all of the years I've known him I have never seen him send flowers even when he has royally screwed the pooch-" she pauses making a face at her own unintentional pun. "I guess now that things have evened out they are back to their friendly game of get the succubus, hm?"

"Speaking of—is it just me who finds it a little odd that they are sorta flirting with each other while vying for my attention?"

"Attention? Is that the word we're going with here?" Tamsin's voice makes me jump as she walks out from the hall. Where the hell did she come from? "Why don't we just say what we really mean, we're all adults here."

"When the hell did you get here?"

"I've been here, was getting ready in Kenz's room."

Is it just me who worries about their relationship? I swear I can handle anything Kenz throws at me, I could even handle if she came out and said she was testing the waters of sexual exploration-but not with Tamsin—just no. I mean I get they have this close relationship and is supposedly—well everyone has a different explanation but none of them explain multiple sleep overs and ol' Tam-Tam's sudden drop out of the race for me AND Dyson.

Note to self: keep a close eye on this.

"See we're going with a seduce Doctor. Frigid, tonight." She smirks, holding her hand out and '_moving it over me'_, not sure why the hand gestures but sure, why not.

"Little secret," Kenzi turns to the Valkyrie. "She is ALWAYS aiming for Lauren, ALWAYS."

"Are we done here with this little succubi pile up?" I glare as I hear the knock on the door. "Come in." I call out as I shoot a scowl at Tamsin who is staring at me with this look that I can't quite place. "Not another word." I order giving my best 'bitch' look which apparently I've heard doesn't take much effort.

"Bo," I turn to Dyson's voice. He's in his normal Dyson attire, losses points for originality but gets points because he still pulls it off. "We are just going to the Dal right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You just look-overdressed."

"I'm gonna decided to take that as a compliment."

"Please do." He gives me his, pardon my pun-wolf grin, oh I know what is on his mind.

Despite the fact my mind is beginning to toy with the perks of indulging this my eyes shift to his company just in time to see her rolling her eyes at him—at us, best part is she glances over at the fireplace earning not only another eye roll but that half-smirk she does when she is irritated—it was sexy and cute—mostly sexy.

"Hey," I say, my smirk effortlessly turning to a smile but her grin of irritation holds firm.

"Bo," ohhh, husky and disapproving tone-take me now doctor.

She unlike Dyson earns points in all categories. Hair down but styled along with light shades of makeup, dark jeans and that short-sleeved, button up, navy blouse that she wore from time to time with the white undershirt underneath. I can't even explain why I find it so sexy but she just wears it so well. It was the perfect balance between feminine and butch that was just so damn enticing.

That and I haven't seen her outside of scrubs in months-I was beginning to think she got rid of the rest of her clothes.

"You look great."

"I get a hello and she gets a compliment?" Dyson's brow furrow, nostrils flaring but it's not in his about to wolf-the-fuck-out way, just in his trying to be smoldering and still boyishly charming—sometimes it works, other times not so much.

"Pull jeans off like she does," I let out under my breath earning a look from the pair and a chuckle from Kenzi-I didn't mean to say it but it's out now.

"And here I thought it had to do with my stellar personality." This time she is earning the chuckles except from me who is grinning like an idiot—why is she so damn charming.

"Ever since we've gotten you out of that lab you've developed quite the sense of humor." He says looking over to her with a smirk and she turns to him to return it-it's a little intense—for my liking.

"I'm sorry do you two need some alone time?" I ask snapping a bit more than intended as my arms fold across my chest.

"Actually I've had quite enough alone time with the Doc on the ride here, if I have to hear about another isotope I may-."

Before he can finish or I can say something her hand is on his shoulder as she leans into him, grin transitioning into her devilish smirk.

"Isotopes." She says in this low whisper which the both start laughing at-seriously? Inside jokes?

"You two rode over together?"

"Yeah, after all can't have Lauren wandering out on her own, too many dangerous situations may arise." YEAH LIKE THE ONE THAT'S ABOUT TO HAPPEN IF YOU DON'T STOP FLIRTING WITH HER.

"I was completely wrong," I glance down at Kenzi who is now at my side. "They aren't going for the gold in succu-games," she starts walking passed me, making sure to smack my ass as she passes. "It's the cross-species games they're aiming for." She whispers as she makes it around to my other side.

If I wasn't so irritated I would be chalking all this Kenzi messing with me up to progress.

This right here-NOT okay.

"Relax before you blow a blood vessel." Tamsin grumbles as she pats me on the arm and walks toward the carpool buddies. "Not that I don't enjoy this little played-out love triangle that rarely stays a triangle and all but I was promises lots of booze and horrible snacks—can we get a move on?"

As if I didn't have enough reason to be irritated with the new BFFs, the in union part and wave the Valkyrie to the door, a shared look at their mimicking action before another laugh—how sweet.

_Note to self: Rethink the idea of threesome-Dyson's mind trip was more than enough. _

It takes about another three minutes before we are all out the door and heading toward cars, of course they go together-I wonder if this is some new thing to mess with me. Like if this is a ploy to grab my attention—well wolf and doctor—well played. Kenzi of course goes to ride shotgun with me but Tamsin holds us up as she debates between which car she wants to ride in which really means she is debating which she thinks will be more amusing to her.

Apparently she thinks they will be—oh I bet they will be.

What is odd and slightly annoying is how Tamsin convinces Kenz to go with her.

What is this, upside down day?

I shrug it off and give her a smile that is silent permission, what was I going to say after all—NO YOU MUST RIDE WITH ME OR I'LL CHI-SUCK YOU.

I chuckle to myself getting into the car at the ridiculousness of the added theatrics in my head as I say the last half—I'm so freaking sleep deprived I'm becoming delusional.

I follow close behind but honestly putting everything aside it's nice just to get a moment alone.

The drive itself is over far too quickly but then again it's a seven/eight minute drive in traffic and without it we get here in four. I park a car behind them and they all get out and shuffle to the sidewalk like a group of teenagers all forgetting what we really are-it's actually nice.

It's nice that Lauren can relax a bit and not have to worry every second of the day that someone is going to pop up and try to kill her or enslave her. It's nice that Kenzi is finally out and making progress. It's nice that Dyson isn't so damn broody and is getting along with Lauren although slightly too much-in my opinion. It's nice that Tamsin isn't a basket case or trying to jump everyone at every turn.

It's just a nice moment in time.

I see Kenzi wave me over as they all stare at me but all I am staring back at is Lauren—I needed a minute to think, to be alone, to collect my thoughts so I wave them on and even go as far as pulling out my phone and holding it up—they begin to move on after this and I guess they think it's about a case.

Whatever works.

I press my head back against the headrest-silence.

I was never one for silence, in fact I avoided it. All silence ever did was give me time to replay my failures, focus on my issues and remind me of my mistakes-but she taught me to enjoy the stillness from time to time.

Her stillness came when she was alone working on her science stuff; my normal moment of complete stillness came in my moments of ecstasy which despite popular belief didn't happen all that frequently.

I was a master of foreplay and feeding but there was very few people I had ever gone all the way with because once again despite popular belief it means something to me. Sure I had that threesome with that married couple—can't remember their names but it was me basking in the new found fact I could have sex and not kill someone. Then there was Dyson's wolf-brother-jackass-friend but it was more about Dyson and Lauren then actually him—though don't get me wrong it was enjoyable. There was Ryan but he actually meant something—at the time.

And in between it all is Dyson and Lauren which no one can deny I care for so yeah—moments of complete stillness are rare but luckily occasionally I am learning to appreciate silence on its own.

Taking a breath I force myself from the car and hurry into the Dal, the four already comfortably seated with the tabletop covered in shot glasses, several already empty.

"Thanks for waiting." I snort taking a seat loosely in between Dyson and Tamsin, would have liked to be in between Dyson and Lauren but considering the two didn't leave space I'll take what I can get.

The Dal is actually packed tonight which worries me for Kenzi's '_fragile'_ state but it only seems to help her slip into the groove of things. I can't say how long it takes us to finish our table full of drinks which I think evened out to three, no four-no three shots per person. Then we had another tray delivered and honestly—I can't keep track anymore of who has had what.

Kenzi is just here—she is joking but she is unusually quiet but it's a calm quiet and Tamsin well either her shots aren't actually shots or she just doesn't get affected by tequila anymore. Dyson is mid-drunk, mid-tipsy and is so flirty it's laughable—still enjoyable though. Then there is Lauren-oh I love drunk Lauren. Drunk Lauren above normally being flirty and giving me excellent rounds of eye sex is unable to remain poised, so every time Dyson tells me how good I look she can't help but roll her eyes.

It's adorable.

Problem between drunk Dyson and drunk Lauren—or really them in general is that he make moves.

Despite the fact that I've initiated three rounds of semi-intense eye sex and continue to smile at her every chance I get and pull her into the small talk she still isn't saying much. Despite the fact her aura is burning above average and she KNOWS I feel the same—she lets the others—or more specifically Dyson run the conversations. Despite the fact that dancing has been brought up several times she continues to just smirk with annoyance.

Problem between Dyson and Lauren was they are both alphas-only one is the outward kind while she prefers to stay in the background and run things.

So it's no surprise that he is the one after another thirty minutes of bullshitting and drinks to pull me up to dance-don't think he even asks.

Can't tell you what the words to the song are but I just fall into the beat and after all its him—it's easy and comfortable. My arms loosely over his neck, his hands on my back and waist—it's fun and I'm loving the compliments he's giving me but after the second—third song I start wishing it was her hands rather than his—perhaps if I wanna be honest I'm always wishing it was her hands, her sweet nothings in my ear—just her.

Now the little voice in the back of my head screams this is a bad idea but well how often do I listen to that voice.

So when a slower beat comes on I turn around in his arms and begin swaying against him—it's not for him though he doesn't know this. It only takes a second before I feel her intense gaze—she is pissed—slightly aroused—but still not pissed enough to get up and come over here.

I know she is capable of doing what I'm looking for; I've seen her '_calmly' _and '_subtly'_ assert her dominance—so why not tonight?

Upon realizing I'm not going to get what I'm looking for I put on my best smile and ease up on him until we're laughing and then I'm leading us back to the table though my smile quickly fades seeing something-unusual-yeah we will go with that.

Five-nine, curvy, defined features, middle of the back black hair, nice vanilla skin—probably my shade. Dressed somewhere between professional Lauren and semi-classy me—meaning you can **see** cleavage and her slacks are a size to tight but she pulls it all together nicely so she still looks professional-casual. Oh and she is obviously Fae—hell she looked like a nice little snack for me on a normal night, what was the problem is the way she is staring at Lauren—correction the problem is how Lauren is smiling under this woman's gaze.

"Hey," I say with a forced grin, like Dyson I'm not so subtle about my territory.

"Hey." She says flatly glancing at me as though I am bothering her.

"I'm—"

"Bo? Yeah I know, once un-aligned succubus, the Blood King's granddaughter and supposed Queen of the Fae."

"Yep, me in a nutshell." I smirk as my eyebrow rises. "What?"

"No nothing, just thought you'd be," she allows the tiny, green ball of her tongue ring rest against her teeth just for a moment before an amused smirk comes over her lips.

"Taller?" How cliché.

"I was going to say, someone who actually looked—the part but yeah, you are rather short now that you mention it."

"Right." I snort, eyes narrowing.

"I'm so sorry," she says with this sudden genuine look and I was about to loosen up but she turns to Lauren and extends her hand. "My name is Alexis Katarina Santiago-Zamora."

"Did you say-?" I look over to Kenzi who is suddenly twenty shots sober.

"Oh that's right, I'm so sorry. It completely slipped my mind, Hale would have been my," she pauses as her features scrunch. "I don't know the exact genealogy but we were distantly related." She shoots Kenzi this apologetic smile before turning back to Lauren. "I'm sorry I would have just said my first name but at my age it's—"

"Customary to use all appropriate names."

"Exactly," she gives Lauren another smile before pulling Dyson's chair out and straddling it, arms folded over the top-classy.

"You must be upward of—"

"Now, now Doctor Lewis I may be beyond the age of being self-conscious over petty things but in no day and age was it ever polite to guess a woman's age."

"I'm sorry," she smiles bashfully and bites her bottom lip-I'm not really sure what's happening here. "And it's not doctor anymore, not really." She shrugs a little, pain lacing her tone and I can't help but feel bad knowing that in more than one way indirectly or not I am part of the reason for that.

"How would you for like that to change?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry this is so unprofessional and I was going to wait until morning but I've been over there with my brothers and you-truthfully I couldn't keep my eyes off of you."

"Excuse me stalker lady," I interrupt, hand on the table as I lean over a bit. "If you think that it's okay for you to imply that Lauren's-services can just be bought like some common—girl on the corner then you have another thing coming."

"I'm not sure what led you to believe anything of the sort," she gives me this inquisitive look before looking back to Lauren who is giving me a '_What the hell'_ look. "Doctor Lewis I assure you I was just paying you a compliment and offering you a job—apparently my social skills need work."

"No." Lauren says flatly scowling at me—what did I do? "Your social skills are fine, and thank you it's very flattering."

"The comment or the offer?"

"Both actually but um, given my current situation I'm unavailable."

"Oh-in which aspect because I am more than willing to take either or?"

TRYING A LITTLE TOO HARD.

"Um," Lauren chuckles—borderline giggles as her cheeks pinken. "It's—well,"

WHY IS THIS SUCH A HARD QUESTION. I'M STANDING RIGHT HERE-SAY YOU ARE TAKEN.

"She is single." Tamsin says and I swear it takes effort not to hit her.

"Are you now?" this new comer asks with a smile looking from good ol' Tam-Tam back to Lauren. "Look I'm sorry I'm just-old, I'm not exactly shy and sometimes I forget that not everyone is as brazen as me. So I will kindly step away from this topic and just assure you that your complicated history will be of no issue if you decide to work for me."

"And who exactly are you?" I ask arms going over my chest.

"I am," she takes a deep breath and her smile turns a little sheepish. "Please don't run." What does that mean? "I'm the new Ash."

"Shit." I hear Tamsin as she sets her drink down and I can feel Dyson tense behind me, Lauren's features tightening-suddenly I think all of us are very sober.

"Let me say it this way," she leans back a little suddenly not in full flirt mode. "I'm an old, cold hearted bitch who is very fond of old Fae law some of which would probably make you all a tad uneasy-but to me a life is a life, human or otherwise which means I have no issue killing you just the same—but also means I treat you with the same respect."

That is the worst pickup line I have ever heard-oddest too.

"Lauren, I am offering you a job not servitude. I even have a nice little folder packet set up for you and everything, got colored tabs and power points and New Times Roman font—it's a whole deal—took me a few hours."

Okay-THAT was the oddest pickup line I've ever heard-why is Lauren smiling?

"Tell you what, I'm going to go back over there with my randy bunch of brothers—incubi." She chuckles and rolls her eyes, for someone so old she acts pretty young. "If you'd like drop by my table over there—only a few feet away and let me know then we'll set up a meeting, if you'd like you can even bring along your baby-bodyguard."

Is that me? Is she referring to me? Well at least she understands we come as a pair-did she just call me a baby?

"Oh," she says pausing as she stands. "Don't worry about the boys, succubi kick incubis' asses-effortlessly if I might add." She gives a little wink before slinking back off to the rock she crawled out from.

Wait—did she just say she was a succubus too?

"Competition for Bo?" Tamsin leans over and whispers as I resume my seat. "Never thought I would see the day—quick someone tell me if hell has frozen over?"

"Tam," Kenzi says taking one of the last remaining shots and shaking her head.

It's a few minutes of awkward tensions and forced small talk all of which Lauren and myself stay out of, though she is deep in thought while I am trying to figure out what she is thinking about.

"I'll be back," she says flatly and out of nowhere as she stands and almost runs toward the table where little Alexis and her three brothers are having a ball-that was us about five minutes before she wandered over to our table.

Well in retrospect everything was back to normal, Kenzi was taking amusement in the events of my love-life, Tamsin was being a bitch, Dyson was fawning over me, Lauren was out of reach and I was pinning for her while contemplating on leaving with Dyson just to show her-show her-show her something that I don't quite know at the moment.

It's been fifteen minutes she has been standing at that table becoming the bell of the ball as the four of them fawn over her like a piece of fresh meet tossed into a lion's den but what gets me is how receptive she is too all of it-ALL of it.

Five more minutes she is leaning against the table and they are standing right along with her.

Seven more minutes and they are taking shots together and laughing like hyenas—well not her but she is enjoying herself—why?

She is only supposed to smile—like that with me. She is supposed to be over here with us-with ME. Her attention is supposed to be on me—I mean I guess if she had answered yes she was taken or complicated then I wouldn't care—as much but she hesitated.

"It was really one of those shit or get off the pot situations."

"What are you, Sally Jessie Raphael—Ricky Lake-Montel Williams? Mind your damn business." I snap looking between her and the table which is now obscured by people standing at the bar.

"When was the last time you watched a talk show?"

I don't bother saying anything else—I just watch. What is this shit? Lauren said she was mine, we are supposed to be complicated not-not-I don't know actually.

I mean sure, okay I kinda fell back into the straddling the fence area with Dyson but it was different wasn't it?

I don't want her straddling a fence-or anything other than me.

I look down noticing I've been playing with the pendent on my necklace for a while now.

Fuck it.

"I'm—" I look at Dyson whose smile fades as I look to him. "I'm sorry." I manage to get out this time as I stand up and start toward the table though luckily there won't be a confrontation considering Lauren is already heading toward me.

"Time to go?" she asks with this huge smile. "What?"

"I'm an asshole," okay—not what I thought was going to come out.

"What?" she chuckles and from behind I can hear Tamsin yell out '_Yeah you are!_'

Okay-I guess I'll run with this.

"I'm an asshole, self-centered, self-absorbed, immature at times, selfish, childish, crass at occasionally, one track minded-I am by no means a catch."

"Are you drunk?"

"No—Lauren hear me when I say that I am a lot of things right now all of which are making me say this but drunk isn't one of them." I pause to take a breath. "What I've done is unforgivable, I know this—I've always known this on some level but—I am in love with you. I've been in love with you from the moment we met I just didn't realize it. It's always been about you—everything in one way or another has always been about you."

"Bo, let's go somewhere—"

"No. Please-just let me do this." I plead—I'm not exactly sure what THIS is but I'm going with it. "I love you, I am in love with you, I am in lust with you, I am in obsession with you, I am in-everything with you. I always want you around even if we're not together because I am just not myself without you—or maybe I am and that scares me. With you I not only want to be better but I **am** better, I want to be someone you deserve."

"Bo, you are—"

"Don't lie Lauren, I'm not someone you deserve I have never been—well maybe for a while there but I lose myself, I always do and Kenz does her best to keep me in line but you-only you can keep me-I am yours and I am ready to be yours." I run my hand through my hair taking a breath trying to keep my tears at bay. "I—I um," I chuckle at what I am about to say and hoping she'll get it. "I saw on a show, doesn't matter which just the metaphor does, it's that you need to decide what in your life is your wife and what is your mistress. This whole time I've been trying to make my—biological issue and you on the same level, allowing myself to fall back into its pleasures as if its without consequence while you're at home waiting for me and expecting you to just be okay with it all and stay."

She is standing there within arm's reach, jaw clenched and tears in her eyes but I don't know what she is feeling at this point.

"I mean this metaphorically and well maybe one day literally but I want you to be my wife—I want to make you my priority. I want monogamy and everything else we had—only better because I'll be better."

"You are still—"

"A succubus I know—believe me I know, but it's who I am not a crutch I realize that now. I mean I can try and learn to control it or try new serums or I don't know any other possibility out there-Jesus Lauren I'm not saying it'll be easy and I think I started this off giving you ten good reasons why you should tell me I am crazy and walk out but-I think for the first time in a long time I am thinking clearly."

"You don't know what you are doing." Her voice trembling as glassy eyes look around the Dal.

"I don't care that you are human, I don't care that people won't approve, I don't care that you tend to be a fugitive every other week-I don't care about any of it because whatever it is-we are in this together." I pause taking a step toward her, my eyes peering into hers just waiting. "That's if-if you want it to be us in this together."

I don't think I said that last line right-my lips part to try and unscrew the closing of my very odd declaration but my words never find a voice as her hands are on my face, lips on mine in this desperate kiss. My hands going to her wrists as I respond, I always respond to her-I don't have a choice and honestly I am okay with that.

It's over so quickly and suddenly I find myself worrying if that was a goodbye kiss but I find her arms around my neck pulling me close.

My eyes meet the new Ash's and she is just sort of scowling, it's not malicious or even sinister—just more like '_Nice move'_—it wasn't a move or a play though because lets be real if it was I would have been able to come up with something better and more romantic than the middle of the Dal after we've all been drinking—I think I may have even slurred slightly once.

"Don't,"

My attention floats back to Lauren as she whispers into my ear.

"Don't hurt me." She whispers—pleads and it scares me to the core, all my self-doubts flooding into my mind but the feel of her in my arms calms me.

I always like to be her hero, save the day, protect her from the bad guy-well this time I'll just have to protect her from myself.

I pull back cupping her cheek and giving her a quick peck on the lips which she follows up with one of her own.

We could do this couldn't we….?

We could start anew.


End file.
